Fairytale daydreams

So here I sit and ponder which fairytale character I would want to be (please tell me everyone does this).
Hmmm, lets start with the process of elimination shall we?
First on my list to ELIMINATE is Tianna, from the Princess and the Frog.  First lets state the obvious, I'm not black.  Secondly, I already married a frog (twice). Lastly, I have no desire to live in a city that is famous for VooDoo and that a higher power has already tried to drown.

Moving on, I don't want to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast either, we all know my taste in men and I have absolutely no doubt that I would have chosen Gaston (a.k.a. VinnyVinceBoomBa).

I am a woman that requires A LOT of beaty sleep, do I really want to sleep FORVER? NO.  Not too mention, I think there's a name for men that like to sneak into a women's bedroom and kiss them while they are sleeping, it's called a RAPIST!  With that said, I do NOT want to be Sleeping Beauty.

I would love to own my own home in the country, I love candy, and I love kids... and even though I tell people that I want to eat their babies, it's just not true (I'm watching my weight).  So the witch from Hansel and Gretal is out.

Men made of wood?  Oh yeah, NOW we're talking...but wait, the only person that eats them is a whale.  So for the same reason above I chose NOT to be the whale in Pinnochio.  (Sorry men with woodies).

I decided long ago that I do not want to be queen and until I get a tummy tuck, nobody has any business seeing this naked ass.  So, no Emporer for me...I like my clothes NOT invisible....damn those TSA agents!

I am an EXCELLENT synchronized swimmer, but I hate seafood...so no mermaid action here.

Goldilocks is an ungrateful, whining brat. "That's too hard, That's too soft, waah, waah, waah...shut up.

Alice....hmmm, now we're talking.  I have much muchness!  I like rabbits!  I like croquet!  She gets big and small...I can do that as long as I can get small by EATING!  Wait, isn't there a creepy stoner cat?  Shit, I'm allergic to drug addict cats.  Sorry Alice.

Snow White, well she is EXTREMELY tempting!  We all know that I am the fairest in the land (yes Tracey, I'm the Mary) and well let's face it, I have a thing for midgets.  But I also have to admit that Evil Queen (who doesn't have a name, did you know that?) is one scary bitch.  I don't love the littles (except of course for the Little's) that much.

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo...now that's just fun to say.  No really it is, try it.  But do I REALLY want to spend my days cleaning up after someone else, cooking for them, doing their laundry and being their slave, doing whatever they want me to do.  In the hopes that some day my Prince Charming might knock on my door and invite me to a ball then fall madly in love with me and whisk me away?  Hmmmm, this sounds vaguely familiar.  CinderKella it is!